since i'm here, i guess i can bring this up to date, in some respects. things didn't really werk out with noel. we're just too far away, and too busy. and for once, i'm not heart-broken! yay! i may very well have broken out of my little love-sick cycle. i'm so happy being single, too. i've been talking a lot with this boy, named erik. he's very nice, albeit much more straightforwrd than i'm used to. i actually get embarrassed a bit when he makes especially lewd comments to me. i've even caught my cheeks getting red! (i didn't think i could blush, either.) i told him i'd go out with him next time i'm in the city. i must admit, i'm nervous. i haven't been with a guy in so many years, it's like i'm starting over. i guess i am, in a way. i'm going to stick with men for a while. i've been questioning my sexuality long enough. i'm tired of being "confused" or whatever. i've just been thinking about it a lot, and maybe there's a reason why i get tired of one girl so quickly. maybe it's not that i'm even attracted to them so much physically. i mean, for a brief pereiod of time, everything will be great. but soon, i lose interest. way too soon, i feel. and i'm trying my hardest to overcome all these issues with men that i have. i would like to be just as comfortable around them as i am around women. something to werk towards... at least i have a goal.